Colbert Goes Off on ICE Barbie's Insane Cannibal 'Lies' - The Daily Beast

Stephen Colbert mocked Homeland Security Secretary Kristi ‘ICE Barbie’ Noem for her bizarre lies about a detained immigrant, saying she’s “writing immigrant cannibal fanfic.”

Colbert took aim at Noem’s consistent claims that the Department of Homeland Security tried to deport a cannibal last summer. Noem alleged that the detained cannibal “started to eat himself” on a plane taking him home. She embellished the tale further in subsequent interviews, telling Fox News’ Jesse Watters this week that the immigrant “was literally eating his own arms.”

Noem’s wild allegations have been shut down by her own colleagues, and Colbert, too, who said the story is "completely made up.”

“So now she’s writing immigrant cannibal fanfic. We all know how the story ends. The cannibal has sex with Hermione and Captain Kirk. Wow,” he continued.

A DHS spokesperson told the Daily Beast, “What ‘fabrication’ of the story of the cannibal? She was told that story on a deportation flight by one of the air marshals.”

Colbert said Noem’s lies began “last June,” or in other words, “approximately three faces ago.” He explained how the secretary first used this story to defend ICE detention centers while speaking alongside the president at Florida’s “Alligator Alcatraz” migrant detention facility.

The rumor continues to be perpetuated with Noem speaking seriously with reporters about the alleged cannibal, using him as an example of the “deranged” individuals who ICE is deporting. She added, “He called himself a cannibal and ate other people and ate himself that day.”

“Sounds crazy,” Colbert responded, “But you’ve got to hand it to Kristi Noem. Unless you can’t because you ate your arms. That happens.”

But the ridiculousness of every detail Noem provides is hard to overlook. Colbert told his audience that the entire story is “clearly a lie.”

“If you’re going to eat yourself, you wouldn’t start with your arms,” he mocked. “You need those to hold the utensils. You go with a calf first. You know, aluminum foil, lemon, some olive oil. Low and slow.”