Giving Out Loud

ETHOS GIVING OUT LOUD

Demetris White Cheatham isn’t likely to be the mom baking cookies for her daughter’s classroom—she says you don’t want her to.

“We must pass along the legacy of giving, service to others and service to the community. The focus on kindness doesn’t cost anything.”

Demetris White Cheatham isn’t likely to be the mom baking cookies for her daughter’s classroom—she says you don’t want her to.

The Cheatham family’s bond to Ravenscroft was cemented during Zahra’s first year. Demetris laughs about it now—thanks to the support Zahra received from teachers and friends at school, she barely realized her mom was spending most of each work week in D.C. Even during that first year, Demetris was constantly looking for small, concrete opportunities to make a difference.

Once Demetris was in Raleigh full-time, she was eager to spend as much time with Zahra as possible. Fortunately for the school, that led to a conversation with Ravenscroft’s leadership, which challenged her to take a creative look at what it means to be a parent volunteer. Today, she serves as a member of Ravenscroft’s Board of Trustees.

A lot has happened during her time in Raleigh—Demetris’ family has grown. She is now the guardian of two boys, students she was connected to through Ravenscroft. Her philosophy on philanthropy has evolved, too—she has long contributed quietly to causes and individuals in need. In 2024, she and her daughter worked with Ravenscroft to design and equip a classroom with technology for global education and entrepreneurship courses—two personal passions. For Demetris, the White Cheatham Innovation Hub for Global Education and Entrepreneurship was motivated by her desire for representation for students of color. She hopes her story will inspire families to find new ways to engage with each other and the Ravenscroft community.

Cheatham's shift in how she sees philanthopy came after serving on the Ravenscroft board. In her words, this new classroom/meeting space is a visible contribution that allows students of color to see themselves reflected on campus.

What inspired you to make the generous contribution to the classroom/meeting space in Olander?

I have to start by telling you a little bit about my background—I grew up in Edgecombe County, N.C., which is one of the most economically disadvantaged counties in the state. I never realized or thought that my family lacked resources and it was the support and example of my family and my teachers that helped me believe I could achieve anything.

My inspiration to make a significant gift to Ravenscroft was born out of a shift in my perspective regarding philanthropy. Growing up, my mother instilled the importance of quiet giving—helping others discreetly by providing groceries, money, or temporary use of a car. For years, I continued this practice, often feeling a sense of guilt about being perceived as having “made it,” so I ensured my gifts were anonymous or given through a third party.

However, sitting on the Ravenscroft board exposed me to a different type of philanthropy—the large, named gifts made by legacy families. I started to wonder what it would look like to give out in the open and leave a lasting mark. A turning point came after I had attended several naming ceremonies and realized I had never seen a Black family or a family of color recognized in that way. It became clear to me that a visible contribution would be a way for me to address representation. Understanding that you can’t be what you can’t see, I felt it was important for students of color to see themselves reflected on campus.

I have always valued education and it has been my goal to support the schools and institutions that shaped my academic career. Originally when I thought about my philanthropic priorities, Ravenscroft came last. I set a goal to contribute significantly to my high school in Tarboro, N.C., and North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University first. I questioned why I would give to Ravenscroft, a school I thought was “okay” financially, before those I perceived to have greater needs. But after some reflection, I realized this thought process stemmed from a fixed mindset based on lack. I challenged myself to operate from a place of abundance, realizing I could give a significant gift to Ravenscroft and still fulfill my other philanthropic priorities.

Zahra and I walked around campus on a quiet Saturday afternoon to select the specific space in the Olander Center for Student Life. I then collaborated with faculty to develop a meaningful wish list for the room, connecting the gift to my personal passions—entrepreneurial thinking and global education. For several years, I taught a class on entrepreneurship at North Carolina State University. And I have been fortunate to do a lot of international travel, personally and professionally. I firmly believe that travel is the highest form of education.

Describe your connection to Ravenscroft. What motivated you to take on so many active roles in this community?

My connection to Ravenscroft began when my daughter, Zahra, was 7 years old. We had just moved back to North Carolina because I wanted her to grow up surrounded by family and community, similar to my own childhood and her dad’s, Cornelius, who was born and raised in Franklin County, N.C. Zahra started at a local charter school, but she quickly lost the excitement she used to have for school, which was a red alarm for me. When I started asking people in the Raleigh area for private school recommendations, Ravenscroft was the unanimous answer.

When we first visited campus, I immediately felt the welcoming, community spirit—there were hugs happening, which reminded me of the familial atmosphere at my alma mater N.C. A&T. I am eternally grateful that during Zahra’s first-grade year, when I was still working in D.C., Ravenscroft truly took care of her and nurtured her, acting as an extended part of our family.

My motivation for taking on active roles stemmed from wanting to forge a connection with Zahra at the place where she spends so much time. Ultimately, my goal was for Zahra and her friends to see me involved. This engagement deepened recently when I expanded my family and our home to include two additional Ravens, Christopher and Alexander Jackson. Their presence has added a new layer to my commitment—as two lifers, the Ravenscroft community has been a meaningful constant for them. I also see my home, which is really close to campus, as a safe, fun place for Zahra, Chris, Alex and all of their friends to spend time. I have tried to make our home comfortable for the kids to hang out. Many of them have bestowed upon me the title of “Mama D.”

The sense of community and stability Ravenscroft offers students is what makes this place special.

Head of School Derrick Willard, Chief Information and Innovation Officer Louis Tullo, Associate Head of School for Advancement Ben Rein, and Head of Upper School Aaron Sundstrom outlined what the space could become. In Zahra’s words, it was a “blah room,” it lacked a real purpose. I think it often served as a dumping ground for sports equipment because of its location just outside of Warner Arena. The new technology in the space is designed to facilitate Ravenscroft’s District C initiatives and global education courses. The enhancement directly supports the school’s ability to facilitate global connections when communicating with business partners and students at other schools around the world.

Philanthropic gifts give Ravenscroft the ability to be nimble, especially when it comes to providing students with new technologies. Why is it important for members of our community—parents, families, board members, faculty/staff—to make a financial commitment to the school?

Making a financial commitment is important because it inspires an abundance mindset across the community. Many of us choose to send our children to Ravenscroft for the opportunities they will be provided here, and most of us have to balance and prioritize other philanthropic causes. My hope is that this visible gift will inspire other families to take a second look and to see the value of supporting the place that is nurturing our kids on a daily basis.

It is also important to remember that even within a seemingly privileged environment like Ravenscroft, there are students who could be facing hardships. We have to slow down and pay attention to each other—a real challenge in today’s busy world. Support can be financial and it can also be from the heart.

Philanthropic commitments allow the community to fulfill its shared responsibility, aligned with the Lead from Here framework, to be of service to others and the world. Creating a sense of community, or a village, begins when one person steps up and others coalesce around that action. I have also always experienced that the more I give, the more I receive. I really believe that. Giving is an act of being a good steward of your resources. “To whom much is given, much is required."

What advice would you give to parents or other community members who are interested in getting more involved at Ravenscroft?

My primary advice is to give back in a way that is meaningful to you and based on your unique strengths, whether through time, donations, or small acts of kindness. Don’t try to force yourself into a role that doesn’t fit. Leave the baking to those who do it well! Giving should feel natural, not hard work or another chore.

You never know the impact your generosity might have on someone’s life. I would challenge each of us to make giving about connection, compassion, and community.

Ultimately, the most important contribution is teaching the next generation. I tell my children that grades are absolutely important, but being a kind human being with a hard earned B is more impressive than being an A+ jerk in my book. We must pass along the legacy of giving, service to others and service to the community. The focus on kindness doesn’t cost anything.

Demetris White Cheathamoreen and her daughter Zahra in front of the new classroom/meeting space in Olander.