SNL Roasts Kavanaugh, Hegseth, and FBI’s Kash Patel as Washington’s Drunken Power Trio

Saturday Night Live’s May 9 cold open delivers a no-holds-barred takedown of some of the Trump era’s most notorious figures, featuring Matt Damon reprising his role as Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Alongside him are Pete Hegseth, played by Colin Jost, and Aziz Ansari as FBI Director Kash Patel, all gathered at a fictional Washington, D.C. watering hole to drink away their collective misdeeds.

The sketch opens with Hegseth celebrating his “sneaky bar” where none of Trump’s people show up—except Kavanaugh, who storms in wielding a gavel and immediately begins issuing absurd “court orders” for drinks. The humor cuts deep, mocking Kavanaugh’s 6-3 Supreme Court decisions with a bartender quipping “a 6-3 decision coming right up.” The bar banter riffs on real-life controversies: Hegseth casually brags about starting a war, Kavanaugh boasts about ending abortion with the chilling catchphrase “your body, my choice,” and they joke about gerrymandering disguised as a “field sobriety test.”

The arrival of Patel, proudly showing off “FBI bourbon” branded with his name, shines a spotlight on the politicization and loyalty purges within federal law enforcement under Trump’s watch. Patel’s character ironically claims he is “living the American dream,” despite the FBI’s weaponization against political opponents—a reality starkly at odds with the jovial tone.

The sketch ends with a dark punchline: Kavanaugh reveals they plan to let Trump run for a third term, joking that Trump rewrote the Constitution to make it possible, before the trio breaks into a singalong of “I Get Knocked Down.” The biting satire encapsulates the reckless disregard for democratic norms and rule of law embodied by these figures.

SNL’s cold open is more than just comedy—it’s a sharp indictment of the corruption, authoritarian overreach, and absurdity that defined the Trump administration’s inner circle. By lampooning these characters as drunken, self-serving insiders, the show holds a mirror to the ongoing threats to democracy and accountability.

Watch the sketch on NBC Saturday nights, but don’t miss the real-world implications behind the laughs.