Walter: Pam Bondi, my hero | Commentary | rutlandherald.com

President Trump, full of praise for Attorney General Pam Bondi’s performance during the Feb. 10 House Judiciary Committee oversight hearing, quoted as such: “AG Pam Bondi, under intense fire from the Trump-deranged, radical-left lunatics, was fantastic at yesterday’s hearing on the never-ending saga of Jeffrey Epstein.”

Since Ms. Bondi delivered this knock-it-out-of-the-park performance, I wondered whether she had a history of similar responses to simple questions and to my surprise and gratitude, Truth Social (TC) delivered an actual transcript from her seventh-grade history class. A note: If you’re wondering about the validity of this historical information, according to NewsMax and Truth Social, TC was co-established by Donald Trump and Dr. Oz during the Nixon years.

Teacher: Miss Bondi. What two countries were involved in the Louisiana Purchase?

Pam: Mrs. Elephant, I deeply resent that question, in fact, I find it to be slanderous and un-American.

Teacher: Could you please just answ—

Pam: I have always wondered where you find dress sizes that large.

Teacher: Miss Bondi, I’m your teacher!

Pam: You are not a teacher. I’ve seen your fake transcripts. In fact I have a copy right here (shows cover page to class titled Dirt on ‘comrade’ Mary Elephant.

Teacher: I’m not going to argue with a seventh gra—

Pam: Are you, or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?

Teacher: That’s it, young la—

Pam: You have obviously broken several laws within the last three minutes, including wasting my time. This reminds me … How do you like my hair? (Turning to class) At this time, I’d like to offer an exclusive chance to join my newly established FBLA chapter, with introductory membership fees at a once-in-a-lifetime, super-low price of $4,999.99 per year. Please make your parents’ checks out to treasurer, Pam Bondi.

Teacher: Miss Bondi, at least it’s encouraging to hear that you’re a member of the Future Business Leaders of America.

Pam: Oh, no, no, no, you totally fraudulent, incompetent, uninformed, drably-dressed, so-called educator. If you actually read anything factual, you’d be aware that my new organization will be named the Fabulously Beautiful Lip-glossed Accusers. I’m tired of this nonsense (scrutinizing a less-than-perfect nail lamination). Class dismissed.

Larry Walter lives in Rutland.