‘I Didn’t Get Fired, I Self-Deported!’ SNL Puts a Vicious Postscript on Kristi Noem’s Reign as DHS Chief

Saturday Night Live gave Kristi Noem a tough sendoff following her ouster as head of the Department of Homeland Security — as cast member Ashley Padilla roasted Noem in Saturday’s cold open.

Padilla was introduced at a faux press conference by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth (portrayed by Colin Jost) — which made light of Noem’s efforts to spin her dismissal.

“After year, singular, of hard work, DHS Secretary Kristi Noem has been reassigned under the bus,” Hegseth said.

Padilla’s Noem picked up on that note when she was introduced.

“I just want to make it clear that I didn’t get fired,” she said. “I self-deported!’

The sketch hit Noem with several cutting jabs — notably taking aim at the Homeland Security chief confessing to shooting her dog.

“Though I may be leaving this job, I will not be ending my mission,” Noem said. “As I told my plastic surgeon, the work is never done. But I gave my all to the DHS, and I have no regrets. Because, like they say, you miss 100 percent of the dogs you don’t shoot.”

SNL also jabbed Noem for her alleged affair with Corey Lewandowski — a close adviser.

“I took this job with the goal of securing our border, deporting thousands of illegals, and spending $200 million on ads of me riding a horse,” Padilla’s Noem said. “And I think I really nailed it. And by ‘it,’ I mean my married coworker in a big, beautiful flying bedroom 30,000 feet over Minneapolis.”

She added, “the time has come for me to turn in my badge, gun, lips, lashes, teeth, and forehead.”

Watch above, via NBC.

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